There is no power and no strength except with Allah swt.

Assalamualaikum.

I can't believe that Ramadhan has come to the end. Time flies so fast, ain't it ? I am thankful that Allah has pourly give me strength to survive with so many obstacles during this holy month. If you could see, my previous post like so emo-ing and depressing. Oh well, I knew Allah is testing me bcs He loves me. He's constantly wants me to remember Him. Despite all the heartache feelings, I think I should be patient, indeed in everything I do. But ofc I'm humang being that has flaws and seek for His forgiveness. I'm striving my life to appreciate my imperfections, :)
Somehow who knows people, this year might be our last meeting, our last Ramadhan, our last Eid. Hmm ... Just maybe.

So I want to take this oppurtunity to wish all of you,
Happy Eid- Ul - Fitr.
I sincerely want to apologize for all my wrongdoings.

And to all Non-Muslims,
Happy Holidays.

To my beloved country,
Happy Independence Day, Malaysia.

Dan kepada semua Makhluk Ciptaan Allah, kalau balik kampung,
berhati-hatilah di jalan raya.
Love ya :D
Peace
♥

Life is simple but not easy.

Sometimes it's better to keep silent.

Till then, it appears that you're stranger.

It feels like we drifted apart.

The reason isn't fair.

You're selfish, yes you are.

You misunderstood me.

Things will never get better even I tried.

I gave up.

There should be the end.

Because my heart says, I'm not gonna miss a single thing about us.

Your immature insecurity feelings that is goddaman wrong make me feel fed up.

So I bid a farewell.

I'll try my best to avoid you, well hmm I guess it won't be a problem.

Yes, bye.

 

p/s : I don't mind if time is running so fast, after Raya straight away Trial, then one month of being nerd with books. Nov SPM.

Oh yeay, high school is finally over.

Bye Friends.

It's time I'd waited for so long.



After what we've done, we still can be friends, but it'll never be the same.

I'm done w my Lit in Eng paper, kinda hard. But, I'm pretty sure that I did my best.

I know hmm well everyone knows that Eid is just around the corner but unfortunately, I can't really celebrate it. I can't enjoy it to the max. > :'(

As I already did mentioned, my TRIAL is straight away after my Raya holidays. So yeah, during Raya, I've to revise back all the chapter that I'd never touched before. I've to do tons of questions. What a life weh ?

Never mind, I've to sacrifice for my husband, SPM righttt ?

K, my darling SPM. I would do anything just to get 10 A+ okayy :*

This is my old times favourite song, ♥

Honestly, I don't feel excited at all. Hmm I only bought two Baju Kurung and the other stuff basically I've to recyle back the old ones. And my mom didn't bake any kuih. Oh so sad weh -,-

Me : ' Ma, Raya setahun sekali je. Nak enjoy jugak walaupun ada exam ! '

Mama : ' Tapi SPM lagi sekali seumur hidup, Raya tahun depan ada lagi okay '

Me : ' Ya ma, you're righhhhht. Kbai '

 

I am just wondering, like yeah this is strange,

Hmm.

When I'm totally bored like hell bored,

I need someone to talk to,

to gossip,

to chat,

to text,

not a single of my friends were there.

Obviously I don't want to disturb you but I somehow really need someone.

So I decided not to text you first.

But luckily,

there were some random people willingly to accompany me.

Thanks :')

Think Positive !

So at least, I've got some strength to move on and think positive. Yes, thanks, teacher. Somehow what you said make sense. I should appreciate my life, because there's someone out there lost his direction and just gave up with his life. It is pitiful to see people having problem, gone through hardship and heartbroken.

Whatever happens must have reason.

And we have to believe in Allah.

And I knew why I failed in exam,

it is to make me realize that I have to study and improve myself.

There's no one born stupid :)

And since my trial is just around the corner, precisely, my Lit in Eng exam is on this Thursday. So I better stop my social activities and focus on my studies.

The truth :

" Sorry, if I'm being mean and selfish. Sorry, if I never be good enough to you. Sorry, for what I'd done. I believe that everyone has flaws. I ain't perfect. Sorry. "

" I think my SPM is much more important and worth it. So yeah, I have to stop being emotional. I don't want to think about these matters. You aren't taking any effort to make things clear. So whatever it is. You can say what you want, at the end everyone knows that in FRIEND, there's in END. "

K agak Loser di situ, siapa nak miss gua en ?

Sebab tahu tak ada siapa nak miss lah gua post ni.

Broken Angel :D

I fell in love with this song. ♥

Happy Trial-ing all Form Five students.

Good Luck.

So just what if tomorrow is our last day ?

Maybe I just stressed out with my trial.

Maybe I was just being emotional for no reason.

Just maybe.

I lost hope, I gave up, I can't move on.

It's all FAKE.

I couldn't live in a circle of group that full of drama and lies.

I know they're nice to me, I know they accept me but at the end I just don't know who they are, they're pretending to each other. They're hating each other but they still together. Just for the sake of the word FRIEND.

And I'd felt guilty, I felt bad.

The truth is it doesn't related to me at all.

But I couldn't bear to see what had happened.

And when my friend told me about their problem, I felt bad for not making any effort to help her. I mean, I just can only hear her sigh, her pain, her dilemma. That's it.

When I see my friend alone, she isn't sitting with her friends, walking alone, while I'm laughing with my friends, I felt guilty, I felt I was extremely mean. I hate this feeling. The worst feeling.

Sometimes I feel that I'm being used OK.

Some people just come to me when they need my help,

come to me when they want to gossip,

come to me when they want to hear my jokes,

but then when they're bored they start to ignore me.

I felt neglected.

And when they are bored don't know what to do only then they come and find me.

Am I a DOLL ?

 

When I think back about my past, I found out that all the reason why I'd failed in friendship is all because of me. I felt I am loser.

I'm letting people go without trying to keep them. But I did tried. They chose to leave me.

When I did so badly in my exam, when my friends got higher marks , I felt envy, I felt useless.I just felt that I'm ungrateful daughter.

When people thought that I always happy when the truth was I'd gone through so much of pain and I hid them behind my smile, people just don't know.

The worst feelings really bother my mind. My heart doesn't feel alright.

Aku rasa macam aku tak guna -___-'

I know I shouldn't say it, I know I should appreciate my life, I know Allah is being fair.

I KNOW.

But the feelings come naturally and I don't how to act normal back.

I want the old Baie.

I know I'm changing, I know I'm different now.

:(

And

Now

I just don't trust anyone, friends become strangers.

I don't know which one is worth being with and which one isn't.

I'm confussed.

It makes me feel like I shouldn't befriend with anyone.

I feel scared to love someone,

I scared that they will forget me,

they will leave me.

Because people aren't permanent.

Nothing lasts.

I am paranoid.

I hate these feelings.

I HATE IT !

So now, I believe that only ALLAH is there for me. Only Allah hear my cries, Only Allah knows the best. I love Allah s.w.t  ♥

Dan sesungguhnya, aku bukanlah hambaMU yang baik, kadangkala alpa dengan duniawi.
Ya ALLAH.

Betapa kerdilnya aku,

Betapa jahilnya aku.

And I found the true love whenever I perfom my prayers,

the best relationship is between Allah and I (:



You say you'll be there but when I need you, you disappear. Thanks.

That's what we called friend ?

I am just tired,

tired.



The only thing you can't recycle is wasted times.

I failed in being a good daughter, I failed in being a good student, I failed in being a good friend, I failed in my exam. I FAILED (!)

I know it's just a number, I know it isn't a permanent position but it sadden my heart to see where I stand. I should be on top not below. I couldn't accept it. I hate it, I hate myself.

Reminder to me, you and everyone !

89 days till SPM.

Less than one week till Trial.

Selamat Tinggal Dunia,

:'(

Hello Humans :D



Assalamualaikum :)

So yeah, it wasn't a productive week. Hmm, but yeah, I thanked Allah for giving me chance to still live in this peaceful world. Alhamdulillah.

Lately, I had really damn mood swings, I often sulk, I get mad easily, I just feel like don't want to talk to people.

My friends realized it though.

Thahira : " Kau kenapa weh ? Asyik merajuk je ? "

Aaina : "Kau kenapa ? Nak marah je ? "

" Asal Bad Mood ? " , " Are you okay ? "

" Tadi kau mcm retarded skrg diam pulak ? "

etc.....

I cried. I felt like I'm nobody. I felt lefted out.

And today I'd period pain.

I just slept in school :)

Thanks friends for caring and worrying about me.

Sakit gila OK. *Only girls know how painful it is.

Sorry everyone if my behaviour really annoyed you these past few days, I don't meant it. Blame my imbalanced hormone Hihi :P

kehidupan sekolah ?

Ok, tidak membosankan tapi sedikit membosankan.

Menggembirakan tapi sedikit biasa je.

K apa aku merepek.

highlight for the week " Sumathy Hyper Gila ! "

so kpd sesiapa yg kenal siapa gerangan Sumathy tu, K meh cik nak habaq mai.

selalu dia diam je, tiba tiba semalam dan hari ni dia jadi high weh, haha sumpah comel.

lawak lah.

ada ke patut dia nak main kejar kejar dengan aku ?

siap lari bagai sampai keluar kelas -___-'

Kalau nak cerita segalanya pasal my classmate memang jadi karangan blog gua ni so in short, my friends are shooo random :')

Since, my previous post seems so emo and sad and lifeless and whatsoever.

So today, I wanna share this fun-ney video from Malaysian Top Vlogger, Mat Lutfi.

Comeel dan Lawak :D



In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.

Truth was, no one knows the real me. It's funny when some thought I'm a happy kid with no problems. Behind me, I carried a thousand pain that no one could ever see. It may seem I've a good family background. I've accompanied by awesome friends. My life lights with jokes and laugh. But what makes me stronger each day, no one knows. No one.

I'd failed in many friendships. Since I was in primary sch. I thought we could remain as friend till forever but I'm totally wrong. We promised to be a true BFF. But we are now no longer that close. We used to be so close, like sisters, we shared a lots, just a lots of stuff together. Wherever we go, we always stick together. But it's funny we ended up fought over silly things. I got mad when you guys spent your time with others and not me. Maybe I used to get treated like you guys were only for me. Haha. That was funny. But that was five years back. But memories will always remain in my mind. Your name was written in my heart.

The second failure seems the hardest, it always be the four of us. We tease, we gossip, we camwhore like there's no tomorrow. But I'm not sure what had happened between us ? Jealousy ? Anger ? or Maybe we are bored to face the same face everyday ? Haha. But the scars heal faster, it's about time. But the difference is the way we treated each other, is not the same as we used to. I miss those times. Miss it so freaking much. Yes, I don't mind if you don't feel like what I felt, cuz that's your choice babe.

Best friend, Good friend, Friend ? Ahh, honestly all of 'em aren't the same. But somehow, only the true ones will stay with you. But I just wonder, there shouldn't be any secret between best friends, right ? And if you've a crush, story, gossip or whatsoever, the first person you wanna share with is your BFF right ? And if you say you're friends forever but ended up spending your time with others, what does it means ? Oh, I just wonder.

And sometimes, we just friend with each other because we want to fill our days with coolness laugh and smile. But when it comes to our bad days, surprisingly no one there to catch us up. Funny :) Sometimes, friends being niceee to us but it turns out you don't know who they are actually, the true colour of them, it'll never can be seen.

After all, my life in high school gonna end soon. So, yeah, at least after this, we are going in our own separate life, I hope all of you gonna find a new fun friends out there.

With love,

Baie.



No matter how hard you try to plan your life, Allah has a special plan just for you.

Sedih tak lagu ni ? One day I've to say Goodbye only then you'll realize how important am I in your life. Friendship is about treasuring and finding the true ones, how can you change friend like changing clothes ? How can you just say I'm your friend when you weren't here to share your secret w me ? How can you forget that all this while, I'm the one who accompanied you everywhere and anywhere ? Hmm, weell, bila dapat benda baru, benda lama selalu kena buang. That's life, people :) 

Sunday.

So today I had my physics class at Timy's. Hmm, now I'd realized that I tend to forget easily because I can't even do the simple questions -_-'

God, I've to do some revision. Yes, I've too. Btw, I love Physics Form 5 Chapter 3.

I bought some t-shirts from Adlia's mom. Yeayyyy, I got it today. But she still own me another two !

I need moreeeee t-shirt weh, MORE, I keep repeating wearing the same t-shirt to tuition :|

Then, heading to my house.

We did some 'STUDY GROUP' hihi :P

We did add maths, yeah, like finally at least we covered Linear Law & Trigonometry.

Alhamdulillah.

Then, learnt inheritance a bit.

Haha :D

 Ceritanya macam ni, kalau menziarahi rumahku, dia macam trend ah en nak tangkap gambar kat mirror-mirror on the wall aku HIHI

Add Maths & Biology :)

So yeah, we really study weh. No lies. I hope you didn't see unwanted thngs up there ^ HAHA

ZZzzZZzzzZZZ

Online -_-'

Main gitar pulak, siapa ah budak ni hahaa (:

So malam berbuka Nasi Beriani (aku taktahu eja -,-) dengan Ayam Masak Merah ♥

p/s : Terlepas Adlia & Diyana nak berbuka dekat rumahku. HAHA

Mom's cooking is all the way better than 5 Star Hotel's food.

To whoever thinks that I'm talking about you,

Take out the picture, blow off the dust;
Take off the frame, it's starting to rust.
Remember the times we had together;
What happened to Best Friends Forever?

And if I'm jealous, it must be I'm too caring about you.

Everyone needs privacy.

Hai ^_^ Hihi.

K pic kat atas ni twin saya ! Haha. *Nampak beno nipunya ~

Alhamdulillah, sudah lima hari berpuasa. Yeay! Saya puasa penuh tau. Tahun ni punya raya tak semeriah mana, lepas raya terus Trial. Untung ah siapa tak ambik SPM :/ Makan ketupat, rendang sambil baca buku mmg best weh :( Ceritanya tahun ni sambut Deepavali lah aku haha. Kata " 1 Malaysia " ! Muka india tu mmg dah ada kaann, haha. 

Nak habaq mai jap :

So how you feel  when someone stalk you ?

Someone keep all your photo ?

Someone obsessing about you ?

......................

Isn't it sounds creepy and annoying ?

K aku memang dah pissed off betul. Sakit pancreas hati bila orang yang macam tak paham bahasa malaysia bahasa kebangsaan ni tau, nak cakap orang Bangla, lahir dekat Malaysia, orang melayu tapi urgh -_-'

Kalau nak minat pun macam tak perlu kot over sangat.

Lagi dimarah lagi disuka, tak ke bengang aku -,-

nasib baik bulan Ramadhan tau.

Just saying :

Tak cool langsung sebenarnya lelaki kacau perempuan. Seriously, you guys look perverted.

Tak matang sungguh. Budak-budak sekolah rendah je buat cam tu. Rasa macam nak bagi makan heels aku je tau.

Haha.

P/s : Dah tukar colour braces, blue colour hihi :B

Allah doesn't have Blackberry, Iphone but He is my favourite contact.

Everyone has different stories in life but in one conclusion, all of us is searching for a true love.

What is a best month ? Ramadhan is the month full with mercy and forgiveness. May this Holy month brings you a happiness. This is the time Allah tests us how we manage our time to still do our daily routine but at the same time perform prayers days and nights also recite al-Quran. Hopefully, I will see some miracle during 'Malam Lailatul Qadar' InsyaAllah :)

I left a few days before Trial then less than two months, I'll be sitting for a real SPM. Oh well, honestly to say that I don't start doing my revision yet. I've tons of homework. I don't understand why teachers give us, F'5 homework when I think right now we should be doing past year questions and revision. Please. We need time to revise all Form 4's. My brain doesn't have memory card that can install 179830704 MGB of facts. Yeah, I always forget what I've just learnt. -_____-

Life is full of suprises and if you think positive, you'll realize that life is beautiful ♥
Sometimes, we're too busy finding for a boyfriend or girlfriend without knowing that our greatest love is for Allah. Sometimes we fail in relationship, our lover get bored and left us. But Allah is Great, He always be there, helping us through thick and thin though we always forget him. When we're in trouble, we cursed, we blamed destiny but we forget that Allah knows better than us. Challenge is for a strong people, only weak people give up. So stop complaining and move on ! Just so yknow, when you're smiling someone is crying, when you're laughing someone is suffering. Please appreciate your life.
Love :)